Joy, my Mame

{ Mame and I Christmas 2006 }

Two Years Ago Today My Loving Mame Went to Heaven. Her name was Joy Kay.  She was my rock, I went to her for everything! Joy was my Mother's aunt but we grew up knowing her like a Grandparent.  She loved my Siblings and I probably more than humanly possible. I remember growing up the four of us kids would take turns on the weekends spending the night at "Mame's and Papa's." Almost every weekend she had one of staying with her.  I remember even fighting with my brothers saying,

"This isn't your weekend, it's my turn to go stay with Mame!!"

We loved spending our weekends with her.  I realize now more than ever how much she loved us and how invested she was in our lives.  At one point when I was 11 or 12  I even had my own room there! I had a water bed and hung up my "JTT" posters.  I was spoiled! As we grew up we still loved spending time out at Mame's, just going over there to have dinner and staying up to watch CSI and the Evening news was so enjoyable. I loved going over there because she was always so interested in how I was and what was going on in my life.  I loved talking to her because I could tell her things that I couldn't tell my own Mother (like kissing boys). I still can hear her voice so clearly and see her face so vividly.  

My favorite day of the year (besides my birthday) was always Christmas Eve.  I would spend the night on the 23rd and help get everything set up for family and friends to come over Christmas Eve Night. When I was about 17 Mame would give me a Styrofoam Cup with wine in it so my mom wouldn't know what I was drinking, although she caught on real fast (but it still happened every year).

I Can't Believe it's been two years, It really seems longer. 

When she died it was the biggest void I had ever know in my life, right now as I right this tears can't help but flow from my eyes... I had never been so crushed and til this day it's still hard to talk about her without getting tears, I miss her so Damn Much!

While in the process of moving I found a card that my friend Lindsey wrote to me.  Lindsey and I have been friends since middle school and she also knew Joy really well. 

{ Card from my Sweet Friend, Lindsey }

In her card she wrote,
"Just Remember all that she's taught you over the years and she will forever live through you and consequently your children and so on..." 
I found this card after I had already named my daughter "ELLA JOY." 

This card means more to me than she could ever know. I only wish Ella was able to know the woman that I named her after. I am so blessed to have known such an amazing woman who brought so much Joy into my life. 

{ Tattoo in Memory of Joy }

Growing up my Mame told me I was part of a tribe.  A tribe that was ruled by Women.  Our ancestors would walk around barefoot with feathers around their ankles.  When my Papa would walk in the house we had the hand motion we would do and say "Wewoompthem."

At her funeral her daughter, Angela, my mom, my sister and I all wore feathers around our ankles and walked in barefoot.  It was in honor of our "Tribal Chief" I just wish I could have seen my Mame's face, I know she would have love it!! Months after her death I got the feather tattoo in memory of her. 

"Wewoompthem

Wewoompthem

The Kamasockee battle cry.

To the last of the truly great chiefetts We're going to do as it is written and 

go on, but you'll always but in our hearts " 

 -Angela (Joy's Daughter) , In memory.    

Getting Closer...

I went to the doctor today and was told that I am 2cm Dilated ! 

Ella Joy will be here any Day Now ! 

UnEventful Sunday..

Yesterday I thought I was gonna lose it.  I felt pretty good all day and could not think of anything to do or find anyone to hang out with.  I kept thinking, 'I'm 39 weeks pregnant and there isn't much I can do!' 

I wanted to take a walk but it was way too hot! So I jumped in my car and started to drive to my favorite area, Nichols Hills.  I pulled into the Panera Bread that was across the street from the house I lived in 2 years ago.  I miss living in that area sooo much! I love the "western" area.  The houses all have there own personality, the restaurants are so good, and it just makes me happy... I ordered a sandwich and a large green tea then sat down and begin reading "The Geography of Bliss."  It's a book about a journalist who travels the world in search of the happiest places.  I thought it was ironic that I had drove to my favorite part of town to a Panera Bread 20 minutes away from my house to read this book that was kinda exactly like what I was doing.  The book is not about happiness being a mind set but more about our surroundings  being the cause of our happiness or lack of.  I think it's a mind set but I'm loving the book, learning about different countries and their cultures. 

After a couple of hours reading and sipping on my green tea I drove around the Nichols Hills houses.  Looking forward to the day I can move back into the area.  I fall in love with several of the houses and wonder what the inside looks like... I can't wait to buy a house and make it my own for Ella and I. 

After driving around I thought I'd continue on this quest I was having by myself for the little things that make me happy and drove to the Cheese Cake Factory.  There I order a Red Velvet Cheesecake! It was delicious! I finally made my way back home that evening and was able to cross off another day closer to meeting Ella! :) 

Pug and Brown eyed baby!!!

Okay any one who knows enough about me knows I love pug dogs!!!! This is the cutest YouTube EVER! It melts my heart! 

This girl is pretty much what I always pictured my little girl looking like and the pug and her seem like best friends! 

Makes me wanna get a pug for Ella :) Watch this clip and tell me your not in love with these two! 

Vaccination is Not Immunization

So I finished reading book last week, Vaccination is not Immunization by Tim O'Shea.  I posted it on my facebook wall and got a lot of feedback on both sides of this controversial issue. I had never give much thought to vaccines before.  And I did not even realize that a child in American now receives their first vaccine that day they are born! And its for hep B, which after reading research on what hep B is I wonder WHY the hell are we giving a shot with 30x's the safe amount of mercury for a 180lb person to a newborn!!! I am an open minded person and I am willing to listen to both sides but really since when did the FDA and Government stop worrying about money and truly have the people's best interest in mind! The answer is THEY HAVN'T. I encourage every parent to read this book.  Think about this do you really think it's safe to combine 3 vaccines into one shot and then give it to a child all in the same day?? Should we really believe what the FDA tells us as 100% truth or should we question and research what we are being told?!!? I believe that our future children are at risk if we as parents just lay by the waste side and do whatever we are told by Doctors,  The TV, The Food Companies and Corporate America. We are so lazy in this Country! We went a quick fix to everything and industries are always coming up with the "answers" we are looking for.  The great thing about living in American is we got get to make up our own minds.  We get to choose if we want to live a healthy life style or not.  We have the choice the workout, smoke, take drugs, drink alcohol, eat healthy food, ect.  Everyone has their own views on what is okay for them and their family and respect that.  I feel confidant in the direction I'm headed and the choices I am beginning to  make for me and my family. 

Googled it....

"Natural Ways to Induce Labor"

My Results:

• SEX
• WALKING
• CASTOR OIL
• SPICY FOOD
• HERBS
• ACUPUNCTURE 
• MASSAGE 
• PINEAPPLE

Well.... I have been walking, getting acupuncture, and eating some what spicy foods. The Sex method is not an option for me and the Castor oil I can't do (heard horror stories , ugh!).  I will keep walking and getting acupuncture and I will have to try eating pineapple. OH! and I'll schedule a message for this weekend.

Keep your fingers crossed! I am so uncomfortable and the heat is really starting to murder me!!! I would Love to see beautiful Ella sometime next week! :)

BitterSweet...

I am really excited that my Best Friend is going to be able to be in Oklahoma when Ella is born!!! She is currently driving to Oklahoma this week from Washington State.  It's bittersweet though because she is going through some family stuff right now and traveling back "home."  My heart goes out to her, I love this girl so much and hate to see her sad.... But on a selfish note I am looking forward to her being able to at the hospital when I have Ella just like I was able to be there when her son Jace was born.  It really amazes me how much we have been through...