TOMORROW....TOMORROW!!!

I can't believe I am now hours away from meeting my daughter! My baby, I am having a baby! It still stocks me! I go in tomorrow at 5:30am to induce my labor! I Pray it goes by fast! 

These past couple days I have filled my hours with wrapping stuff up at the office and then hanging out with friends in the evenings. I don't think the reality of it all will hit me until I get the hospital gown on...

Wish me luck! My Next post will include Ella !!! :) :)

Light At the End of The Tunnel!

{ 40 Weeks Pregnant } 

Well I have made it to the end! 40 weeks! I went to my doctor today and was told that we are inducing Thursday! Yes, in 3 days I'll be a Mom!!! I am soooo freakin excited! Wow, I can't believe she is almost here!!! I don't know how I'm going to sleep at all this week! 

Sunday Bloody Sunday...

Well I'm coming up on week 40 of being pregnant... I fell like I'll forever be pregnant. I am so ready to get labor behind me and start this new life! In the mean time I am just waiting... 

Today I went and hung out with one of my best friends, Tiffanie who was in town from Dallas along with her brother Chris and our friend Emily.  So it was good for me to "get out" for a couple hours today.  I hate no being able to fill up my day with busy things to do.  Yesterday I thought my water might brake I had never felt so much pressure "down there" I had to hold my belly up while I walked! My water however never broke.  I got a little bit of last minute shopping done then I treated myself to a Manicure and Pedi. So I now feel completely ready! My bag is packed, Ella's outfit is picked out, I got my hair done this week, and now my toes will look pretty in those awful stirrups, and my nails are all cute and maintained to hold my precious little baby! Today I am taking it easy and staying inside the air conditioned house! I is so hot and humid outside today, ugh!
Now as I write this I all the sudden feel tired.
I guess I will go take another pregnant nap.....

Birth Day.

With every passing day I wonder when Ella's Birthday will be!! I mean this will not only be the day I go into labor but also the day that we will celebrate her birthday every year! I love birthdays! I think celebrating Birthdays is one the greatest things in life!!! I mean whats not to love? CAKE, CANDLES, BALLOONS, PRESENTS, and HAPPINESS! 

AND NOW I'LL HAVE A DAUGHTER OF MY OWN and BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE AND PLAN BIG BIRTHDAY SURPRISES! YAY!!!

Joy, my Mame

{ Mame and I Christmas 2006 }

Two Years Ago Today My Loving Mame Went to Heaven. Her name was Joy Kay.  She was my rock, I went to her for everything! Joy was my Mother's aunt but we grew up knowing her like a Grandparent.  She loved my Siblings and I probably more than humanly possible. I remember growing up the four of us kids would take turns on the weekends spending the night at "Mame's and Papa's." Almost every weekend she had one of staying with her.  I remember even fighting with my brothers saying,

"This isn't your weekend, it's my turn to go stay with Mame!!"

We loved spending our weekends with her.  I realize now more than ever how much she loved us and how invested she was in our lives.  At one point when I was 11 or 12  I even had my own room there! I had a water bed and hung up my "JTT" posters.  I was spoiled! As we grew up we still loved spending time out at Mame's, just going over there to have dinner and staying up to watch CSI and the Evening news was so enjoyable. I loved going over there because she was always so interested in how I was and what was going on in my life.  I loved talking to her because I could tell her things that I couldn't tell my own Mother (like kissing boys). I still can hear her voice so clearly and see her face so vividly.  

My favorite day of the year (besides my birthday) was always Christmas Eve.  I would spend the night on the 23rd and help get everything set up for family and friends to come over Christmas Eve Night. When I was about 17 Mame would give me a Styrofoam Cup with wine in it so my mom wouldn't know what I was drinking, although she caught on real fast (but it still happened every year).

I Can't Believe it's been two years, It really seems longer. 

When she died it was the biggest void I had ever know in my life, right now as I right this tears can't help but flow from my eyes... I had never been so crushed and til this day it's still hard to talk about her without getting tears, I miss her so Damn Much!

While in the process of moving I found a card that my friend Lindsey wrote to me.  Lindsey and I have been friends since middle school and she also knew Joy really well. 

{ Card from my Sweet Friend, Lindsey }

In her card she wrote,
"Just Remember all that she's taught you over the years and she will forever live through you and consequently your children and so on..." 
I found this card after I had already named my daughter "ELLA JOY." 

This card means more to me than she could ever know. I only wish Ella was able to know the woman that I named her after. I am so blessed to have known such an amazing woman who brought so much Joy into my life. 

{ Tattoo in Memory of Joy }

Growing up my Mame told me I was part of a tribe.  A tribe that was ruled by Women.  Our ancestors would walk around barefoot with feathers around their ankles.  When my Papa would walk in the house we had the hand motion we would do and say "Wewoompthem."

At her funeral her daughter, Angela, my mom, my sister and I all wore feathers around our ankles and walked in barefoot.  It was in honor of our "Tribal Chief" I just wish I could have seen my Mame's face, I know she would have love it!! Months after her death I got the feather tattoo in memory of her. 

"Wewoompthem

Wewoompthem

The Kamasockee battle cry.

To the last of the truly great chiefetts We're going to do as it is written and 

go on, but you'll always but in our hearts " 

 -Angela (Joy's Daughter) , In memory.    

Getting Closer...

I went to the doctor today and was told that I am 2cm Dilated ! 

Ella Joy will be here any Day Now ! 

UnEventful Sunday..

Yesterday I thought I was gonna lose it.  I felt pretty good all day and could not think of anything to do or find anyone to hang out with.  I kept thinking, 'I'm 39 weeks pregnant and there isn't much I can do!' 

I wanted to take a walk but it was way too hot! So I jumped in my car and started to drive to my favorite area, Nichols Hills.  I pulled into the Panera Bread that was across the street from the house I lived in 2 years ago.  I miss living in that area sooo much! I love the "western" area.  The houses all have there own personality, the restaurants are so good, and it just makes me happy... I ordered a sandwich and a large green tea then sat down and begin reading "The Geography of Bliss."  It's a book about a journalist who travels the world in search of the happiest places.  I thought it was ironic that I had drove to my favorite part of town to a Panera Bread 20 minutes away from my house to read this book that was kinda exactly like what I was doing.  The book is not about happiness being a mind set but more about our surroundings  being the cause of our happiness or lack of.  I think it's a mind set but I'm loving the book, learning about different countries and their cultures. 

After a couple of hours reading and sipping on my green tea I drove around the Nichols Hills houses.  Looking forward to the day I can move back into the area.  I fall in love with several of the houses and wonder what the inside looks like... I can't wait to buy a house and make it my own for Ella and I. 

After driving around I thought I'd continue on this quest I was having by myself for the little things that make me happy and drove to the Cheese Cake Factory.  There I order a Red Velvet Cheesecake! It was delicious! I finally made my way back home that evening and was able to cross off another day closer to meeting Ella! :)