Thursday, December 9, 2010

P90X:: BRING IT!!

Today will be my 9th day of P90X and only 81 more days to go! 
I honestly feel that this is the key to getting my body to where I have always wanted it to be!
My goal is to lose 20lbs and two pant sizes.  I will be done with my 90 days right around my birthday, I can't freakin wait! :) 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

YUMMM Birthday Sushi!

Yesterday was my best friend, Jessica's 24th Birthday.  Since i had to work last night we went out for a late birthday lunch and it's no surprise where we ended up... A SUSHI RESTAURANT ! For as long as I can remember now we have been celebrating our birthdays which sushi and I don't think there could be a better way!! Didn't get away to Dallas or out on the town, but we did what we could on an awesome lunch :)
Love you Jess and Hope you had a as wonderful of a lunch as I did and A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BFF!

Where ever you are, it's your friends who make your world.

William James




Happy Birthday Jess, I can't imagine my life without you and all the memories we have shared! I love you so much and look forward to many many more birthdays spent together ! 
Jenn and Juice baby! ;)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Little Screams..


This afternoon Ella has discovered her voice can be loud! She has started making little screaming noises whenever she doesn't feel like she is getting enough attention.  It was cute the first time but this is something I don't want her to make into a habit.  She is starting to be a little sassy at times.
Yesterday she also rolled from her back to her tummy and try crawling towards her toys.  I have a feeling it won't be long til the house is going to have to be child proof! 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

My Sunday...

Today was a great sunday.  I took my mother to lunch with Ella and I at Cheese Cake Factory because she deserves it and much more for helping me out so much!!!! Then we went to Old Navy and I kinda went crazy shopping for winter clothes for baby Ella! They had soooo many great clothes for her!!
After I spent  all my money on new clothes for Ella we went to the 6pm church service.  Ella sat on my lap and listened to whole time, I was soo proud! :)
I ended my night at BJ's with Jesse and Daniel got some cocktails and appetizers, I must say it was a great day!

5 Months Already!

                          

Friday, November 26, 2010

Black Friday Smarts

So I scored big time this black friday!!! No so much with huge savings because I didn't get much but what I did buy I bought while sleeping!!! Yes, I won! Black Friday shopping while I was at home sleeping.
My mother and my little sister went and braved the crowds and they were nice enough to ask me if they needed to get anything for me.  I gave them my list and they returned with everything I asked for!! Now thats the kinda Black Friday I like, Not having to brave the weather or the people! Thanks Mom and Little Sis! :)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!


Hope every one has a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving!! 
Lots of Love from my Little Family, Ella and I :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Meet me in Montauk

"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders. "

"How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! / The world forgetting, by the world forgot / Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! / Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd. "

Enteral Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Recently I have been thinking about this movie.  Would you ever erase some one from your memory?  I would have said no a couple months back, because lets me honest every memory and experience shapes who we are today. However, I think that if this technology existed that I might look into setting up an appointment.  How wonderful would it be to be able to erase someone that has completely written you off?!?! They were at one time a wonderful friend to you and they are someone you love but since they no longer seem to care to contact you or even give you closure you could just erase the fact that you even knew them!
You wouldn't have to wonder all the time what went wrong or live another day with unanswered questions... 
   Would you trade all your memories with a person in to avoid hurt feelings and confusion??? 
Something that really makes me think.... 


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

First Bites..

Today I fed Ella baby cereal for the first time and she loved it!!! I can't believe that tomorrow my baby will be 5 months old!! 

Friday, November 12, 2010

First Day of my life ....

My Life is Ella and in many ways Ella had/has saved my life and I am a better person because of this sweet baby girl. 

Today and Every Day I Am Thankful For A Happy and Healthy Baby Girl ! 


{ June 17th 2010 }

"This is the first day of my life

I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am 
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go...."

-Bright Eyes










Friday, October 22, 2010

What Matters...

"What you feel only matters to you, it’s what you do for the people you say you love that matters…" –The Last Kiss. 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

MIA

I know Ive Never MIA for WAY TOO Long!!!! But here I am again hoping to get better at staying on top of things.
Ive been working my butt off latly and spending time with my little girl! She is sooo much fun!

Monday, September 20, 2010

New Week, New Start!

This morning I got this week off to the right start, I got my ass to the GYM! I feel so much better knowing that I already have my work out knocked out for the day!  Today is going to be long one I put in a full day at the office then its off for training to start my new cocktail job! I am going to be so busy I gotta figure out how to manage Two jobs, working out and Mommy time! 
Im excited though I feel as if I am starting to get back on track and get things straightened out again since having baby Ella. 
Wish Me Luck This Week Is going to be a BUSY one, I can't wait! :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Hold me


Some nights like tonight while Ella is sound asleep in her crib I just wanna pick her up and hold her all night long! She is growing up so fast and getting so big.  I have never been more in love with anything in my whole life.  Being a mom is such a wonderful gift! 

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Difference 2 Months can be!


                                                        JUNE 2010                 VS       AUGUST 2010

I still got a ways to go but this mama is working on getting back in Shape! 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Door Knob Wine Stoppers!

NapaStyle Wine Stopper     
Saw this while I was surfing the web today, What a cool idea! Being the wine drinker I am, I love this!

Thursday, August 12, 2010

8 Weeks Old Today

My Sweet baby girl is 8 weeks old today and hasn't been feeling too good. Bless her heart I hate knowing she isn't her normal happy baby self!! Today at the office it's just her and I and all she wants is her Mama to hold her, so what am I doing? I am holding her while I work and tie up some lose ends here at the office before we head home for the weekend.

Stops crying when in her mommy's arms, makes me feel so special!

Coffee Talk

This past week has to gone as expected.  Don't you hate it when you really look forward to something with so much anticipation and excitement and then it ends up not happening?!?! I have been disappointed and had my feelings hurt this past week by a really good friend and sadly it looks as though they are just walking away from it.  Amazing how a simple thing like getting a phone call saying "Im sorry" sometimes never seems to happen.  I'm at a loss. But I keep telling myself that enjoyed the time I spent with the friend and move forward from here.

Coffee From All About Cha in Edmond

Sunday I saw a good friend at mine at church that I hadn't hung out with since last summer when we both use to party.  Its awesome how much the two of us has changed so much in just a years time.  We had Coffee last night and talked a lot of past mistakes we made and how we have become the people we are today.  It was so encouraging to have a friend listen to my hurt and concerns and offer the best advice possible, Give it all up to God.  I have felt a strong conviction about some things in my life that I knew wasn't God's best or his will for me.  In some areas I fill like it's hard to give it all to God and have to remove myself from relationships that do not honor God. 
I attend LifeChurch and the current series is called "Toxic," this weeks title is Toxic Friends. A message that I feel like God has been trying to get me to listen to for a long time now.  The more I am trusting in God and obeying his will the more I see that he is going to take care of me.  Now that I have a daughter to rise my life can no longer be selfish and lived just to please my own desires.  I am praying that I keep my focus on God because I know that people will always let you down and I have to put my trust in God and not in man.


Wednesday, July 28, 2010

6 Week Old Ella Joy

SWEET BABY ELLA 
6 Weeks Old Tomorrow! :)

Ella loves to kick her legs and move that long body! 


This melts my heart! 

I took these pictures today at the office, she is sooo good while her mama works!
I still find it surreal at time that I am a mama!  But look how lucky I am! I have never been happier in my whole life! I can't believe that after 9 urr 10 months of being pregnant I have the best baby in the world.  I am so blessed, look at that face! She is such a happy and clam baby (unless she is hungry).  Tomorrow my baby will be 6 weeks old I feel like these 6 weeks have gone by so fast.  My friends who have children all tell me the same thing "Enjoy this time, it goes by fast!" and they are right it does. And you bet I soak up every minute with this sweet baby! 


Monday, July 26, 2010

FIT MAMA BLOG

I have started a new blog just for my weight loss success and my results with P90X: 


Check it out!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

I wonder...

FLOAT TRIP?!? PLEASE!

You know what I want to do? ... I want to float the river this summer! 

 

I think I have floated the river just about once every year.  I am thinking about rounding up some people to spend the day being lazy and soaking up some sun! I really feel like I need a vacation even if its a small river trip! Looks like I will be starting a second job soon and I need to brake lose and have some fun before work takes up a lot of my time again! 

Monday, July 12, 2010

My 90 Days!


Okay So I am so ready to see my doctor on Thursday, why? Because I am hoping to hear that I am healed up and ready to start working out again! This weekend I started reading through the P90X packet and nutrition plan.  I have decided that while I am home with Ella during the days this program will be great since I wont even have to leave home to go to the gym!  I would really like to start my 90 days no longer than Aug. 1st that way by November I can hopefully have a body I am proud of again!  I am really trying to prepare myself so I will make it through the complete 90 days.  Today I am writing out my meal plan and I am going to watch the video's and make sure that I do every thing possible to set myself up for success.  I don't think people realize how ready I am to start working out and how working out really helps me with my stress.  I could use to help! The program encourages people taking before and after photo's which I don't mind except for now I have a few stretch marks which is wonderful.  I hear nothing but great things about this program so I am ready to test my dedication out and ready to see great results! 

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Red Prime and Night Out!

Last Night ended up being a good night.  I had dinner at Red Prime for the first time! I had gone in there before for drinks but hadn't ate there before.  I had the best filet ever, however I am a former vegetarian so its not like I have much to compare it too!  The food was great from start to finish! Yum!!!! I can't wait to eat dinner there again!! After dinner I came home to fed Ella and my Mom offered to babysit so I could go out with some friends. I met up with my friend Denny at Edna's and from there we went to a couple of different bars and I got to see a lot of friends I hadn't hung out with in awhile.  It felt weird being out on a saturday night again! Going to these busy bars really are not my scene anymore but it was still great to get out and see a lot of old friends!! Funny how times change, while I was out all I could think about was how my little girl was doing.  I am so lucky to have such a wonderful girl, I can't imagine my life without her!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Joy In Every Day!

Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day.  ~Author Unknown


This Too Shall Pass

This week has been a rough week for me! I got sick mid week and also got a little girlie and emanational about some things in my life.  First of all I'm hardly ever sick and it seems like when I am its bad.  I've been in bed for the last two days as much as possible when I wasn't tending to my sweet baby.  Thankfully I woke up today and felt tons better, Praise God! 
I'm also trying to not take some possibly hurtful things too personal, which then there is a little bit of "drama" going on top of being sick it all just seems worst than it might be (maybe) . 
I feel like I have changed a lot this past year and really there is no doubt that I have change a lot! I mean I had to. Now I'm recently learning for like the 2nd time in my life that I need to be carful in trusting people's words... Even though I had my doubts I still entertained ideas as possible truths, my mistake.  My gut was telling me to be cautious and for the most part I was.  Ugh sorry I am being so vague but I try not to vent my frustration on many people so I am just gonna do it here as a reminder to myself as a new mother to be very cautious of my feelings and people I put my trust in.
Okay enough with the awful post lately! 
I am feeling better today and I'm having a whole new outlook on my circumstances. I know there are still a lot of things I need to figure out and I will, but for now all I can do is my best one.day.at.a.time. 

Monday, July 5, 2010

Blah!

Today is just one of those days.... I don't know if my hormones are just now getting outta whack since my pregnancy or what!!! I am in this funk and I hate it.  I am really annoyed right now with a bunch of situations and uncertainties in my life. I know I have to change my thinking though and focus on the positive.  I just feel like there are a lot of changes that I am needing to make, things I need to focus less on and put the focus and energy on more promising things. I really wish I had the green light from my doctor so that I could go work out! A good work out session really helps me clear my head!! Oh well just got to take this one day at a time!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy 4th of July!!


{ Ella in her 4th of July Outfit! }

Today is the 4th of July and it's RAINING! Last year I was at the lake and it poured, now more rain this year?!? This sucks! I love the rain but not on the day I have plans to run errands and be out doing stuff! 
Ella got to wear her 4th of July Romper to church today and was a big hit! 
One thing I love about this weather is being lazy with my little girl! I'm going to go cuddle with my baby and get a nap in because tonight Mama gets to go out tonight! :)

Saturday, July 3, 2010

2 week update-




So the last couple of days have been a little bit on the frustrating side.  Ella has decided that when she eats she wants to drag it out for two hours of eating and napping. Napping with my boob in her mouth that is! (sorry I'm going to be blunt and grow up if your mind is going in the gutter! I'm a mom now for crying out loud!). Anyway I tried to move her to her crib last night once she fell asleep so I could then go to bed only to hear sad crying minutes later.  I first put her in her crib at 11:30 ish after feeding her, she woke up at 12:00 ish and this on and off again feeding/napping went on til 3:00am this morning! I cried somewhere in the middle of it all.  I was super tired and annoyed. I think my hormones were a little bit outta control too because I hardly ever cry, I hate to cry and yesterday it was the easiest thing for me to do! Ugh! 
I hate whining and I am sorry that this is what I am doing now, but hey I blog is an okay place to vent from time to time right?!?!?! Well I have been wanting to quit at the whole breast feeding thing, but I won't allow myself to! I know that it's the healthiest thing for Ella therefore I'm going to stick with it and know that it will get easier! I am making it a GOAL to breast fed till at Least September no matter what! So wish me luck because I need it right now! 
On a brighter note last weekend I bought a scale and since then I have lost (drumroll.....) 8 lbs! I am 8lbs away from where I was last October when I found out I was pregnant! It's only been two weeks and I have not been able to start working out yet so I am hoping next month will be promising! I have been eating oats and eggs in the morning, lots of salads, and then some dinners have been fish and rice. My weakness though has become chocolate covered nuts! Last night I watched a movie with Ella and ate extra butter popcorn with peanut butter M&M's what was I thinking!! Oh well. I have a little over 20lbs to lose to get to my goal weight and I am thinking I can reach it before Thanksgiving! 
Other than my struggles with breast feeding and my success at weight loss nothing really new is going on with me.  Ella is really doing great aside from the nights she wants to be up feeding forever.  My mother has been such a big help to me these last two weeks! Her and my dad just went out of town last night and they will be returning tonight.  She told me that I needed I brake and that she is wanting to watch Ella while I go out Sunday and/or Monday night! What a sweet thing to offer and I do need some time away! The sad thing though is that I really don't know what I'll do! Jessica is out of town this weekend and Tiffanie is in Dallas.... Some of my other friends I am kinda frustrated with but I am sure I'll figure something out.  Hell even if I end up driving around town alone for two hours it will still be a nice brake.  Being at home all summer long has started to make me go a little insane!  

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Water Bug

Giving Ella a Bath = Success!! 

Yes I think my little girl already has a love for the water! I really thought there would be at lest some fussing, but not even a little cry.  I was so thrilled by how wonderful she did durning her first bath! :) 


{ I am so in love with this baby girl ! }

Ella's Birth Story

June. 17, 2010 I experienced the greatest day of my life! 
Like I had blogged earlier I was scheduled to be induced on Wed. June 17th at 5:30 am at Mercy.  Weeks before I really frowned at the idea of being induced because I wanted every thing to happen as natural as possible when it came to when she was ready to to be born. Then I hit 40 weeks and with this hot weather, my increasing size and the pressure I felt made the answer easy when my doctor asked about being induced- it was an instant "YES!". 
So Wednesday I spent the day at the office making pending notes and wrapping up projects. That evening I had dinner with my best friend and her son Jace then we went to the park so Jace could play and we could chit chat.  One of the the things that I told Jess was that I was shocked that my water had not broke, I explained that I really felt that my water would have broke...
{ Well My Head didn't make this picture very well but Jess wanted a picture with my full grown belly! }

After the dinner and park I came home and took a much needed shower.  After my shower I put on sweats and went to take clothes out of the dryer.  When I looked down I was surprised to see that I had "Peed my pants" I thought for a moment that it might be my water but I played it off as wishful and thought I more than likely lost control of my bladder.  After the third change of pants I finally was convinced that my water was breaking.  I guess it's confusing because it doesn't happen like you see in the movies, no big gush of water it was more like a "leak" (later I find out thats exactly what it was, a leak).  I was thrilled.  I could not have planned it better! My water was breaking on my due date and I was already getting prepared to go in that next morning to be induced.  So I called my mom and she rushed home and also my best friend Jessica was on her way over to help in anyway she could (because I thought I had til 5:30am and it was around 10pm I still wasn't completely ready!).
My mom had color in her hair I told he to finish because I had clothes in the wash anyway and needed to blow dry my hair.  We finally left for the hospital after midnight and arrived at Mercy a little after one.

{ Jess and I right before I left for the hospital .. my water is breaking in this pic! }

I will say the great thing about going to the ER when your pregnant is that you NEVER have to wait.  My Mother and I walked in calmly and  I explained that my water broke and I was already scheduled to be induced at 5:30am that morning.  They pulled up the schedule and for whatever reason I was not on it! It was also a busy night for them many women where coming in with their water braking...must have been a full moon or something.  I was told that if my water had not broke I wouldn't have been able to induce that morning because they were so full.  Man I was so happy my water broke!! I can't imagine showing up ready to get my labor started and being sent home! 
  Anyway I was then  wheeled chaired to my "first" room where they ran a test to insure that my water was breaking and that turned out positive! I also found out that I was still only dilated at a 2.  So from there the nurse told us that once they had my room ready I'd be moved and they would start the pitocin drip at 5 am.  I asked for some ice chips and as my Mom fell asleep for a little while I sat there eating ice chips as if it was popcorn and starring at the clock that now read 2:00am as if it was a movie.
About an hour and a half passed and I was moved to my room where Ella was going to be delivered. 
I my water was then broken but not on prepose as the nurse went to hook the fetal monitor to the baby's head.  At this point I still was not on any pain medicine and I hadn't had any contracts that I could feel.
The nurses left the room and I sat there again starring at the clock just waiting for the little hand to reach 5 and the big hand to reach 12.
Finally 5:00 am was reached! The nurse came in and checked me for dilating, I was at a 3 by this time. She then started my pitocin drip to induce my labor.  About an hour passed and I started to feel contractions, nothing I couldn't handle just really bad cramps.  Every time I had a contraction my first reaction was to hold my breath and every time my Mom would have to remind me to breath! I guess I should have taken those breathing classes ( But I think I did awesome without them!). 
After an hour of being of the pitocin my nurse came in and told me I was now at a 4. The contractions then started getting worse not horrible though. After another 40 minutes had passed the nurse checked me again and said I was now at a "good 4" which I guess is almost a 5.  She then asked me if I wanted to go ahead and get an epidural, the thought of a needle in my back scared me ! I always thought I would be in so much pain from the contractions that the epidural wouldn't bother me.  I of course said yes and 30 minutes later the anesthesiologist came into the room to administer the epidural.  Did you know the whole process takes about 20 minutes? For 20 minutes I was scared to death and trying to relax and stay still through it all even while I was having contractions, not easy! Finally the epidural was in and after a couple minutes the bottom half of my body went numb.  I was worried though because I could still move my legs and toes that I would feel pain during the delivery. The doctor reassured me several time that I would not feel a thing.  After I was given the epidural they turned the pitocin drip up a little.  
My Family plus my best friend, Jessica then came in to visit with me.  After 30 minutes of talking with them and knowing I was only a 4 and could be while they left for lunch and would return later.
Not even 10 minutes passed before I started to feel major pressure "down there" I told my mom to get a nurse because I felt something going on.  The nurse came in and to our shock she said I had already been dilated to a 9!!!! I went from a 4 to a 9 in less than a hour!!!! I was excited and ready to start the whole pushing process although at the time I didn't really know how, only that I was going to wing it and visualize it the best I could.  My Mom immediately called my sister-in-law and I called Jess and had them turn around and come right back to the hospital.  I had two nurses come in the room and told me that soon we would begin to start pushing.  Christen and Jessica showed up and shortly after the nurses came back into the room. They pulled out the leg stirrups and I felt excitement  knowing this was another step closer to meeting my baby girl. Then nurse told me I would start pushing when they saw I was having a contraction and I would push for 10 seconds then take a breath and do it two more times. I have never been more focused, I pushed with everything in me and visualized Ella's arrival.  I pushed with the nurses for about 20 minutes before my Doctor got to the hospital.  Once my Doctor sat down and I was told to start pushing through the contraction by the second push Ella was here! 
I had never been more Excited, Overwhelmed, or Exhausted in my life! 
I couldn't believe that after only 30 minutes of active labor Ella was born! 


{ Ella's First Pictures }



{ The Happiest Moment of my Life! }



{ Instead of being around 7lbs like we thought she was almost 9lbs! }



{ This Face makes me smile }



{ The Romano Family with the newest addition }





Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Update

So I know I have not blog on here in awhile, being a new first time mom and a busy job! I have never been more happy than I am right now having Ella in my life.  She is hands down THE BEST THING EVER that has happened in my life.  I knew when I was pregnant that I'd love her more than anything, but after having have it's so much more than that.  It's amazing how much love I feel for this little baby girl! I can't ever imagine my life without her in it, I'd do it all over again in a heart beat! 
I am still working on Ella's Birth Story because it's amazing and was the greatest day of my life! However here lately I have been feeling awful.  Bad Stomach aches and fevers.  I went to the doctor today and got an antibiotic so I pray I will be feeling better soon!  The stomach pains I have been having are the worst stomach pains I think I have ever felt, so bad that I can't even stand up straight at times! This recovery process has been really hard on my body and I am ready to get to feeling "normal" again!  Ella has been so great and patient with me through this recovery! She really is the best baby ever born, I believe that to be 100% true.  She is so clam and patient, the greatest blessing ever. 
Well I'm off to bed for a couple of hours. Her Birth Story should be posted soon! :) 


{ My Sweet Little Baby 4 Days Old }

Friday, June 18, 2010

Ella Joy's Birthday!


Ella Joy Was Born Yesterday, June 17th at 12:20. She weighed a whopping 8lb 14oz! 

Story to come.... 

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

TOMORROW....TOMORROW!!!

I can't believe I am now hours away from meeting my daughter! My baby, I am having a baby! It still stocks me! I go in tomorrow at 5:30am to induce my labor! I Pray it goes by fast! 
These past couple days I have filled my hours with wrapping stuff up at the office and then hanging out with friends in the evenings. I don't think the reality of it all will hit me until I get the hospital gown on...
Wish me luck! My Next post will include Ella !!! :) :)

Monday, June 14, 2010

Light At the End of The Tunnel!


{ 40 Weeks Pregnant } 

Well I have made it to the end! 40 weeks! I went to my doctor today and was told that we are inducing Thursday! Yes, in 3 days I'll be a Mom!!! I am soooo freakin excited! Wow, I can't believe she is almost here!!! I don't know how I'm going to sleep at all this week! 

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sunday Bloody Sunday...

Well I'm coming up on week 40 of being pregnant... I fell like I'll forever be pregnant. I am so ready to get labor behind me and start this new life! In the mean time I am just waiting... 
Today I went and hung out with one of my best friends, Tiffanie who was in town from Dallas along with her brother Chris and our friend Emily.  So it was good for me to "get out" for a couple hours today.  I hate no being able to fill up my day with busy things to do.  Yesterday I thought my water might brake I had never felt so much pressure "down there" I had to hold my belly up while I walked! My water however never broke.  I got a little bit of last minute shopping done then I treated myself to a Manicure and Pedi. So I now feel completely ready! My bag is packed, Ella's outfit is picked out, I got my hair done this week, and now my toes will look pretty in those awful stirrups, and my nails are all cute and maintained to hold my precious little baby! Today I am taking it easy and staying inside the air conditioned house! I is so hot and humid outside today, ugh!
Now as I write this I all the sudden feel tired.
I guess I will go take another pregnant nap.....






Friday, June 11, 2010

Birth Day.

With every passing day I wonder when Ella's Birthday will be!! I mean this will not only be the day I go into labor but also the day that we will celebrate her birthday every year! I love birthdays! I think celebrating Birthdays is one the greatest things in life!!! I mean whats not to love? CAKE, CANDLES, BALLOONS, PRESENTS, and HAPPINESS! 
AND NOW I'LL HAVE A DAUGHTER OF MY OWN and BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE AND PLAN BIG BIRTHDAY SURPRISES! YAY!!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Joy, my Mame

{ Mame and I Christmas 2006 }

Two Years Ago Today My Loving Mame Went to Heaven. Her name was Joy Kay.  She was my rock, I went to her for everything! Joy was my Mother's aunt but we grew up knowing her like a Grandparent.  She loved my Siblings and I probably more than humanly possible. I remember growing up the four of us kids would take turns on the weekends spending the night at "Mame's and Papa's." Almost every weekend she had one of staying with her.  I remember even fighting with my brothers saying,
"This isn't your weekend, it's my turn to go stay with Mame!!"
We loved spending our weekends with her.  I realize now more than ever how much she loved us and how invested she was in our lives.  At one point when I was 11 or 12  I even had my own room there! I had a water bed and hung up my "JTT" posters.  I was spoiled! As we grew up we still loved spending time out at Mame's, just going over there to have dinner and staying up to watch CSI and the Evening news was so enjoyable. I loved going over there because she was always so interested in how I was and what was going on in my life.  I loved talking to her because I could tell her things that I couldn't tell my own Mother (like kissing boys). I still can hear her voice so clearly and see her face so vividly.  
My favorite day of the year (besides my birthday) was always Christmas Eve.  I would spend the night on the 23rd and help get everything set up for family and friends to come over Christmas Eve Night. When I was about 17 Mame would give me a Styrofoam Cup with wine in it so my mom wouldn't know what I was drinking, although she caught on real fast (but it still happened every year).
I Can't Believe it's been two years, It really seems longer. 
When she died it was the biggest void I had ever know in my life, right now as I right this tears can't help but flow from my eyes... I had never been so crushed and til this day it's still hard to talk about her without getting tears, I miss her so Damn Much!
While in the process of moving I found a card that my friend Lindsey wrote to me.  Lindsey and I have been friends since middle school and she also knew Joy really well. 
{ Card from my Sweet Friend, Lindsey }

In her card she wrote,
"Just Remember all that she's taught you over the years and she will forever live through you and consequently your children and so on..." 
I found this card after I had already named my daughter "ELLA JOY." 
This card means more to me than she could ever know. I only wish Ella was able to know the woman that I named her after. I am so blessed to have known such an amazing woman who brought so much Joy into my life. 
{ Tattoo in Memory of Joy }

Growing up my Mame told me I was part of a tribe.  A tribe that was ruled by Women.  Our ancestors would walk around barefoot with feathers around their ankles.  When my Papa would walk in the house we had the hand motion we would do and say "Wewoompthem."
At her funeral her daughter, Angela, my mom, my sister and I all wore feathers around our ankles and walked in barefoot.  It was in honor of our "Tribal Chief" I just wish I could have seen my Mame's face, I know she would have love it!! Months after her death I got the feather tattoo in memory of her. 

"Wewoompthem
Wewoompthem
The Kamasockee battle cry.
To the last of the truly great chiefetts We're going to do as it is written and 
go on, but you'll always but in our hearts " 

 -Angela (Joy's Daughter) , In memory.